Wraysbury Dive Centre

Wraysbury is a miniature lake (or large pond) just off Junction 13 of the M25. But the glamour doesn't stop there. Underwater sights include containers, taxis, a blue boat, silt, fresh-water mussels and clams, and parts of trees. Surely no Red Sea resort can boast similar attractions?

For 32 whole minutes on Sunday 25th February this body of fresh water was also host to a curious-looking three-bodied, three-headed diver (see picture). King Tad of the North was flanked by Jim and Matt, eager to protect him from the on-rushing schools of lake-friggles. A sunken river-boat was the main non-silt-based highlight. Its head was admired but not used, even though it was far cleaner than the porta-loos being used by desperate waddling divers, top-side.

• Hero of the half-hour: Jim, who used inch-perfect navigation to return the trio back to their launch platform. Or a few feet to the right of it.
• Special guest star: a fat swan, sporting a heavy, black-footed limp as it lurched over the gravel and launched itself onto the water.
• Special mention: Heathrow airport, for providing the aerial display of unsettlingly huge jets a mere 1000 feet above.
• Dive stats: 6 quid a head, cheap sausage sarnies, plenty of tea and cheesy chips on tap*, a mini-dive-shop on site, and the occasional cantankerous swan. Average depth: 7m. Drive time to site: 90 minutes. Dive time at site: 30 minutes. Faff time before and after: 200,831 minutes.

* Part of our surface cover team demanding supplies