And why should scuba diving be "extreme"? In my limited experience it's a very staid, relaxing experience. We'll have to wait for the first out-of-air experience, or conger eel nipping my fingers, or an octopus yanking my tadger. THEN we shall see extreme.

Until then let's look at "Extreme setting up a doctor's appointment":

1. wander into Battle, sleepy town on a sleepy afternoon, with Andy (Faz). Set up appointment via huffy secretary. Me ears hurt you see, but not always. Could this be the dreaded arse/ear infection? or even worse a perforated ear drum?

2. Mr Nice Dr lets me fill in the "not from around here" form while he asks about serious illness and accidents. Then a poke into the lugholes and the verdict: "It's shouldn't be a bar to diving on Saturday". Words that made me leap for joy and knock the Doc to the ground, licking his face. Then I asked to be let out for a pee.
Later I led him to the well where the Harman kids where last seen. And then i was shot.

3. No seriously - he says that when the magic light shone onto my ear drums, they reflected back with MURK, and MOTTLED GLOOM. Healthy drums would have gleamed. This means there is fluid inside the old Eustachian tubes (dear old Eustace), possibly resulting from equalisation problems. Ah that'll be the "EEEEEEEE-blib-blib-EEEE-HSSSSS!" noise as i dropped down the concrete hole in the marina. Only 6 metres but for this acolyte it was enough to be taught valuable lesson #1: equalise often. often. that means often.

***

So the news is I might get to do Open Water dive #4 on saturday. With Shaun on the way out of an ear infection, and my inner tubes full of effluent, it should make an odd pairing of hopeful graduands. All for the joy of induction into the church of PADI.

PS remind me to draw out my theories on how PADI is like Scientology, except without the crazy-ass alien shit.